the first cut is the deepest

ahonui has been going to preschool since the beginning of august. even though he is only 3 years old, bright beginnings preschool in hauula accepted him and i felt that it was time he fill his days with more activities than just "curious george" on tv or hours of gaming & you-tubing on my iphone.

a few months prior to the first day of school, we tried to prepare the little guy as much as we could. we would talk to him about what he can expect, who he will see, what he may be learning, etc. we bought special snacks for him to enjoy in his lunchbox, bought a toy story backpack for him, and even arranged for him to be in the same class as his cousin, tehani, so he would have a familiar face in an unfamiliar place.



after our many attempts of "preschool preparation", the first day of class finally rolled around. we tried our best to get him excited about this new experience. unfortunately, our enthusiastic efforts went unnoticed and unappreciated. i'm not sure if it's because he is after all, a boy...or if he simply didn't yet understand the fact that "school" = "mommy & daddy won't be with you to hold your hand all day long".

we all woke up at 6:30 that morning so that brandon & i would have time to get him ready, eat breakfast, make his lunch, get ourselves ready, and take him to the school a little early so we could check out his new digs for the year, introduce him to his teachers, and settle in with possible new friends.

and that's exactly what we did...

 

...a stroll around his classroom: check.

...discovery of the 2 million cool toys: check.

...introduction to the teachers: check.

...and an invasion of new faces and personalities: check and check.

finally, it was mommy and daddy's turn to leave. i don't believe ahonui quite grasped the fact that we weren't going to be in the same vicinity as him for the next 6 hours, because he was very content playing on the little table & bench sets without us for a few minutes. when i noticed that he was "fine", it actually hurt me. i mean, it literally hurt. i felt the sadness coming up into my throat that my little boy was not so little anymore. i felt his dismissal for his parents from the sudden independence he was exhibiting to myself and brandon. but i knew i had to pull myself together. for his sake, at the very least. i fought back those tears of rejection, and the hurt i felt in my throat moved quickly down to my heart. so i gave him a big bear hug, a long mushy kiss, and rushed the heck out of the classroom.

i waited for brandon outside while he said goodbye and sure enough, about 4 seconds after brandon comes out...a shriek, a scream, and some thumping. we glance into the classroom window, and there's one of the teachers - holding our little boy who is not so little anymore - looking like the darn crocodile hunter wrestling with him...all the while attempting to send us a reassuring wave and yelling out the window saying "he's fine! he'll be okay!" riiiiight.

so off we went. back to our minivan and our regular schedules. leaving our writhing crocodile in the hands of those poor teachers. and that's when i broke down. all the way back home, i bawled my eyes out thinking of my 40 pound baby and how he must be thinking that his mean 'ol mom has just abandoned him. when we got home, brandon held me as i cried and calmed down so that i could go to work. it took me a little while to get a hold of myself and to realize that he's in good hands and that it would get easier for both of us very soon.
 

and it did get easier. he now runs away into the depths of his classrom from his mean 'ol mom after dropping him off every day. i think he's fine now, and so am i. which means the first one really is a doozy.

our little nahe girl

although our newest bundle of joy was born almost six weeks ago, i am sticking to the "i just had a baby" excuse. how long do you think that "get-out-of-jail-free card" will last? well, since i'm going back to work in less than a week, i'm figuring my time is just about up. saaaaad.

at the same time, however - EXCITED! because she's finally here!!! nahe wheturangi kahaialii was born on monday, august 30th. for the handful of you that may be interested in reading the birth story - this one's for you...

my due date was actually august 30th, and i had originally planned to work until i gave birth. but just over a week before my due date, my doctor allowed me to stop working. that extra time was wonderful because i wanted to tie up loose ends and make sure that everything was ready for the baby and that we had everything she might need before her arrival. plus, i found myself sooo tired every day and all the extra weight i was carrying really was taking it's toll on my body.


anyway, the day before my due date i woke up at around 7am because i was feeling some minor contractions. i thought they may have been braxton hicks because i had frequently been having those since i was 15 weeks along. i began timing the contractions and they were very random so i didn't think much of it. my mom checked on me later that day and i told her that the contractions were coming, but they were so sporadic i didn't want to head to the hospital yet. then at about 7pm they were really coming...this time closer together and a lot more intense. i still felt like i had time before we needed to head to the hospital but my mom insisted that we leave right away. being the crazy procrastinator that i am, i didn't pack my hospital bag yet. (so much for the week off of work! hehe) so while i took a shower, my mom got my bag packed, and brandon took ahonui to my in-laws. while i was in the shower, the contractions were almost right on top of the other and that's kind of when reality struck. i started trippin' like - wow, this is really happening...this baby is coming!

before we left, we stopped at my brother, jared's house - who lives nextdoor, by the way - so i could get a blessing. after that, i really felt that Heavenly Father was watching over me and baby and i knew things would go smoothly from then on.

we got to kaiser hospital in moanalua at about 11:30pm and we went straight up to labor & delivery. they checked me in and LUCKY ME - my midwife was on duty that night! apparently with kaiser, it doesn't matter which doctor or midwife you've been dealing with during your entire pregnancy, you are stuck with whichever one is on-call or already at the hospital. craziness, huh?! so i was VERY VERY relieved to know that my AWESOME midwife, linda chong-tim, was able to help me after all those appointments i had with her. so glad that i didn't drive all the way to kailua for our checkup appointments for nothing! the nurse checked me and i was only at 5 cm. and since i'm a wimp when it comes to pain, i requested the epidural right away. hey, why deal with the pain if you don't have to, right?? *sigh* (when i was in labor with ahonui i didn't want the epidural and got stuck at 8cm for 3 hours - and then once i gave in and got it, both brandon and i knocked out from exhaustion. so the next time around i told him, forget it - i'm gonna get it right when we get there! and of course, he was all for it. lol!)

after the anesthesiologist came in and gave me the epidural, again - both brandon and i knocked out! =) peace at last...but at about 2:25am my nurse came in to check on me and asked how i was doing. of course, i couldn't feel much so i was all, i'm good. so she said she'll come back later and that baby would tell them if she was coming. 5 minutes later, the nurse AND my midwife came rushing in to wake brandon & me up saying, "she's telling us something!" according to their charts in the nursing station baby's heartrate was dropping and showed that my contractions were so close together, so she checked me again and said "fully dilated, plus one" - our little nahe was ready to come out! =) they rushed to get things ready, and my midwife told me to let my body and the contractions naturally push baby out and after one tiny push, she graced us with her presence! she was born at 2:35am, 7 lbs. 13.5 oz., 19 3/4 in. long.



i think the labor & delivery experience is such an amazing and surreal event. i'm so grateful that Heavenly Father has put his trust in me and brandon to care for these two spirits. so far our little nahe is a wonderful baby. she is so beautiful (even though my opinion may be biased, i'm entitled to think so), and we are so happy that she chose us to be her parents.