to have to leave my little man and separate myself from him for the first time since he was born was UTTERLY AGONIZING to say the least. he was my first child that i had exclusively breastfed without supplementing with formula. due to nursing him 24/7, i think I had a connection and bond with him so strong that i may not have had with my first two babies at this time in their lives. i knew that he literally needed me, and i felt that
reciprocation even more this time around.
being on bedrest for 7 weeks during the final stages of my pregnancy, then 6 more weeks after baby was born meant that I had been on maternity leave for almost 13 weeks. so i was now forced to readjust to life as a working mom. the 2 or 3 days prior to returning back to work, i'd just stop and stare at him while he slept. knowing that i'd soon have to be away from baby lino for so long during the day just broke my heart.
when i had to get ready for work on the morning of my first day back, even though i had him in my arms practically all night to nurse, i held him again. i held him tight, i held him close, and I let the tears fall. it was probably one of the hardest things i've had to do...to let go and hand him over to brandon.
now that both he and i are in the swing of things and are adjusting to our current routines (he stays with Brandon & nahe until the late morning hours then spends a few hours at grandma's until I pick tm up) I've had to come to terms with the requirements of reality. I've tried to lessen the frequency of morning sobs as it has become easier to let go.
being on bedrest for 7 weeks during the final stages of my pregnancy, then 6 more weeks after baby was born meant that I had been on maternity leave for almost 13 weeks. so i was now forced to readjust to life as a working mom. the 2 or 3 days prior to returning back to work, i'd just stop and stare at him while he slept. knowing that i'd soon have to be away from baby lino for so long during the day just broke my heart.
when i had to get ready for work on the morning of my first day back, even though i had him in my arms practically all night to nurse, i held him again. i held him tight, i held him close, and I let the tears fall. it was probably one of the hardest things i've had to do...to let go and hand him over to brandon.
now that both he and i are in the swing of things and are adjusting to our current routines (he stays with Brandon & nahe until the late morning hours then spends a few hours at grandma's until I pick tm up) I've had to come to terms with the requirements of reality. I've tried to lessen the frequency of morning sobs as it has become easier to let go.
the only issue now? getting ready and out the door by 8am!
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